sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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