We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
