i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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