"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
