But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
