I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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