how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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