he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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