he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's paint friendship bongs
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
