Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
whose parrot is this?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
