Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
