You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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