We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
