No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize