I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
