im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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