I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
