You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize