Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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