hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
