You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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