I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude i'm inner monologue high
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
