My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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