I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
