Well apparently he's into motor boating.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize