I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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