Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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