Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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