Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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