I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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