i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
