you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
