if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he thought i was a dude.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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