People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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