69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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