Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
