The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
