Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize