at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
