I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
