It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize