just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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