Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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