She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
