i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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