I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize