If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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