I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
