Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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