Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
