she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
