Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
