who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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