just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
