I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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