I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
