Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is the high leading the old right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
