your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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