is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize