..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
