You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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