Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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