so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
