That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Damn victory sex feels great
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
