Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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