God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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