Your face is a jimmy john
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
