Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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