i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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