He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
